Hibernation

Willie and I started this blog as a memory tool. Within the first year of our relationship, we did so many things that when we looked back we could hardly remember it all. The idea was to keep pictures and notes so we could share with friends all the spectacular things there were to see in the world. Under this premise, the blog started off strong. We were both very excited about it, and Willie took his camera everywhere as his own personal journalism project of sorts...

But things changed. Life got slow at first and then hard. Do you ever have that feeling that while you're pushing so hard to get somewhere, every road block in the world seems to jump into your way? Well, the past six months have been a little like that... We both had huge plans for how we wanted to spend this time, and most of them have fallen through. I think the only thing that really went as planned were applications for school next year. Willie and I have 12 schools we're applying too-- all of which have been thoroughly researched as good places for me to get my MFA while he finishes off his undergraduate degree.

That is good. We needed to do that, and that's what's keeping the wind in my sails right now.

So yes... the blog. I was pretty disappointed for a while with how we both seemed to sort of drizzle out on it. Then I began to realize that we hadn't documented the past six months... because we didn't really have anything to document. I feel like this time has been a sort of hibernation period-- dead air in the story of our lives. These months barely resemble the life we use to lead, and I feel like we (or at least I) barely resemble the person I use to be.

It's a problem, but it's been recognized. Now it's being dealt with. I'm writing more-- a lot more-- and he's scripting again. We've started reading to each other at night, watching "classics" and discussing things. We speak on politics and theories and aspirations. We listen to a lot of NPR. He's helping me to find my passion again. I'm not just drizzling out into a puddle of sludge. I'm getting excited and passionate about the things that drove me here, about the beliefs that make me who I am and what inspired him to love me in the first place. It's a slow process, like rehabilitation from an accident or an addiction. It's happening, though, and by January everything will fall into place once more.

I know this. I believe it. I haven't felt this inspired in... well... months. Something good is coming, and my wings are spread for this second wind.